I added it up at the kitchen table, the way my wife once added up the Excedrin.
5 years of treating everything except the clenching.
The pills. The $40 triptans. The $700 guard that saved my teeth, not my head. The $1,200 crown that cracked anyway.
Thousands of dollars, still on the floor at 7:30.
Then masseter Botox, $800 to $1,400 a session, every 3 months, for life.
Roughly $5,000 a year, forever, to numb the muscle instead of catching the clench.
Then the other column.
The ring was $29.90.
I almost didn't buy it, having just spent $1,200 on a tooth. My wife said, "it's thirty bucks."